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Keithie with his ‘mates’ in the Cross

When I took Keithie to Sydney a couple of years back, the place he loved most was Kings Cross – he’s never stopped talking about how when he called in to the Kings Cross Police Station the cops there couldn’t get over the fact that Swansea’s copper, Charlie, was keeping an eye on Keithie’s sheep while he was away.

I thought his obsession with Kings Cross was to do with the fact that the Swannie’s HQ is located on Darlinghurst Road right smack in the middle of the Cross, but during the week Keithie’s been banging on about the TV series Underbelly, which is producing a sixth season – Keithie’s favourite season was 2010 filmed, you guessed it: in Kings Cross.

Is that why you want to go to the Sydney Mardi Gras?” I asked. “Because the parade goes past Kings Cross?”

“Wouldn’t hurt,” said Keithie leaving me wondering what the hell he meant.

What happens if we bump into the drug dealers Louis and Bill Bayeh? Or the murderer, Michael Kanaan? “ I teased. “They might not want your type in their neighbourhood!”

Keithie grinned…he’s so good natured.

“I’ve been on the internet about the Mardi Gras and we can get seats in the Glam Stand, where you can see the whole parade, have a drink, something to eat and a rest if you get tired.” I said.

Keithie thought that was tops especially given he’d seen crowds, numbering in the hundreds of thousands, eight-deep on either side of the parade route angling for a view at last years Mardi Gras.

“That must’ve been where Kylie Minogue sat,” Keithie said. And that’s when I realised he was anxious.

“Well, if its good enough for her its good enough for us,” I said. “How about I get us some tickets?”

Keithie wanted to know how much they were and so I told him they were quite exy.

“Nearly 200 bucks!”

Keithie sucked his breath through his teeth.

I told him it’s because the money goes to the Bobby Goldsmith Foundation, which helps young gays to learn to live with all the discrimination the world heaps on them just for being themselves.

“Well that’s alright then,” he said.

Then I told Keithie about the gay guy who invented the computer.

“His community couldn’t cope with the fact that he was so clever and gay at the same time it so they gave him a choice: hormone injections that would pretty much castrate him, or two years in jail.

“Can you imagine what your buddies from Underbelly would have done to Alan Turing in jail?”

“What did he choose?” Keithie asked.

“Neither. He killed himself.”

Keithie shook his head – sometimes he just doesn’t know how to think about some of the things people do to people in other communities.

Anyway Keithie, now that all those criminals in Underbelly are so famous they’ll probably have a float of their own just to wind up the NSW Police who have a float of their own.”

“Do they?”

“Course! The police force is full of gays…they’re everywhere…they’re even here in Swansea!”